A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

I found this hilarious:

10. “The Bible says that God is not concerned with outer appearance . . . neither should you.”
9. “The Good Book said that I might be visited by angels unaware, but something must be wrong with my interpretation, because I am perfectly aware of you.”
8. “I noticed you crying during alter call, can I help?”
Bonus:“Until this moment, I thought I had the gift of singleness.”
7. While giving a her a TULIP say, ”This Totally depraved person has been Unconditionally drawn to you, Limiting himself to your Irresistible beauty that is Persevering beyond all others.”
6. “God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”
5. “The [sight] of you leaves me apophatic.”
4. “Well, gouge out my eyes and cut off my hands. If I hang around you much longer, I won’t have any limbs left.”

Bonus: ”Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.”
3. “You must have missed The Fall line, because you are lookin’ righteous.”
2. Sing this to the tune of George Strait’s “Chair”: “Excuse me, but I think you’ve got my rib.”
Bonus: “I could not help but notice you were exegeting me instead of the text during the sermon.”
1. “Are you homo or homoi?

HT Reformed Renegade.