A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

A while ago there used to be an infamous saying that in life nothing is as certain as death and taxes. Taxes I can take -with gritted and clenched teeth. But who can conquer the sting of death and Who can say ‘ Oh, grave where is thy victory?’

As I crawled back from work today I realised soccer had lost one of its new found fetishes. Man’s best mollusc friend that conjured up Word Cup results and mesmerised millions (and angered German and Dutch fans alike) across the globe seemed to be hapless at predicting it’s most important appointment.

Oberhausen, Germany- Paul the octopus, which won unlikely worldwide fame correctly predicting a host of World Cup matches, has died, his owners said today. Stefan Porwoll, manager of the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre in Germany, said: ‘His success made him almost a bigger story than the World Cup itself.’

Paul predicted the winners of all Germany’s World Cup clashes, and then of the final by selecting one of two boxes, each loaded with a mussel food treat and marked on the outside with one of the teams.

I mistakenly assumed that Paul had many friends. Or so I thought until I came across an audaciously loud,  sumptuous  pseudo- ethical -quasi- culinary question, ‘Would you fry or stew a dead psychic octopus?’ Huh, let me see I told myself as I snickered mischievously. Interesting question, isn’t it? But well, I soon snapped out of my supposed gluttonous misgivings.

I wouldn’t want to appear to be  the proverbial outsider who cries louder than the bereaved. I am no friend of cephalopods nor pander psychic predictions to the whims of superstitious soccer hooligans. But Paul is gone, (free from all taxes and trick or treat mussels at least) he will be laid to rest with all the procedural trappings of an eight-legged celebrity- a burial plot, memorial shrine and all.  Death occurs to kings, celebrities, paupers and octopuses alike.

However not even Paul the tentacled beast could say ‘O death where is thy sting, O grave where is thy victory?’ May the death of this yellow-bellied pandering psychic remind us all of the fickleness of our own depraved mortal lives.  And at the end of the day we remain accountable to God.

James, our Lord’s brother rightly wrote in his epistle:

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. -James 4:14