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Tag Archives: Theologians

Theologians Answer: Why did the chicken cross the road?

On a lighter note, I hear the chicken crossed the road and there is now a grand theological debate to find out why ‘the chicken crossed the road’…

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Greg Boyd: It’s a possibility that the chicken crossed the road.

TD Jakes: A manifestation of the Chicken crossed the road for his blessings.

Rick Warren: The chicken was purpose driven.

Mark Driscoll: The chicken crossed because of the rooster’s leadership.

Joel Osteen: The chicken crossed the road to maximize his personal fulfillment so that he could be all that God created him to be.

Creflo Dollar: God told the chicken that if he clucked, “That land across the road is mine!,” he could claim it. He crossed the road to take possession.

Pelagius: Because the chicken was able to.

John Piper: God decreed the event to maximize his glory.

Billy Graham: The chicken was surrendering all.

Pluralist: The chicken took one of many equally valid roads.

Chris Rosebrough: It was a pirate chicken!

Steven Furtick: You can’t tell chicken to stand still. They are spontaneous!

Universalist: All chickens cross the road.

Annihilationist: The chicken was hit by a car and ceased to exist.

Fred Phelps: God hates chickens!

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