A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

Reformed. Christianity. Evangelism. Modern Culture.

I Claim it! I Claim it! And I Claim an iPhone 4S!

Okay if God really loves me He is just going to…no He must give me what I want! And I want THAT iPhone 4S! It’s voice controlled, I can talk to it and ask it tomorrow’s weather.  You talk to it and it does all you want it to do. It has an eight-megapixel camera. Surely if God loves me (like he loves David Cameron and Obama who also have iPhones) he will let me throw my teeny weeny good for nothing old phone that I have to press to my wonky ears even when I am walking to church -and get me this i-Phone 4S. Only that…

Life would be so much simpler if they invented an app to save you queuing for a new iPhone. But yesterday the only way the world’s techno-hungry masses could guarantee being among the first to own the latest toy from Apple was to stand in line.

And so, in extraordinary scenes that bordered on iMania, hundreds of thousands of gadget-worshippers laid siege to Apple stores across the country and around the globe to get their hands on the iPhone 4S. Many camped out and queued for more than 24 hours. One emerged joyfully from the store in Covent Garden after doorstepping it for ten days and nights. At the nearby flagship Regent Street branch, more than 1,000 snaked around crush barriers and police were called to marshal the crowd.

Soon after doors opened at 8am, triumphant punters held their purchases aloft to cheers from the waiting multitude, like Olympic athletes who had just won gold. Yes, it’s only a mobile phone. But this was the latest must-have accessory for anyone obsessed with clever, shiny things.

No matter that one wonders where so many people get the days off to join such a queue in these straitened times. No matter that the phone costs upwards of £499. Don’t even think about simply walking into a shop next week to buy one, or joining the estimated million who ordered it online and may now endure the agony of a ‘sorry we missed you’ note through the door when the delivery driver calls.

In a consumer-crazy society, it became clear yesterday, the shame of owning only an iPhone 4, and not the latest S model, was too much for many to bear.

Surely look at the smiles on their faces. Life does consist of the things you own. The newer the thing, the better. How much longer should I keep naming and claiming? Or should I sow a seed first into Henny Binn’s ministry first? Should I make a donation to BTN Christian Television first? Or surely before another Friday passes I should be happy like the Osteens (living my best life with this ‘anointed’ gadget).
Oh let me go for a lunch break and increase my faith and then I will come back and covet this iPhone 4S some more.
Yeah, and claim it again! 😉
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