A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

Reformed. Christianity. Evangelism. Modern Culture.

Why did you get married so young?

Trip Lee is a lovable Christian musician who gets asked the same question over and over. (Seeing that he got married at the age of twenty one). This is what he thinks of it:

Yesterday I made a late night stop at the store to grab a few things and I had a very interesting conversation with the cashier. We made small talk as she scanned my items, and then she offered me a discount card but I told her my wife already had one. That’s when the conversation got fun. I know this conversation all too well because I’ve had it many times before. It goes something like this…

Person: What!? You’re married?

Me: Yeah I’ve been married for two and a half amazing years.

Person: How old are you? You look like a baby.

Me: I’m twenty three.

Person: You’re so young! Why in the world would you do that?

Me: Why wouldn’t I?

In 2009, I got married at the barely legal and barely respectable age of twenty one years old. During my courtship, engagement, and short marriage, I’ve been asked time and time again questions like, “Why get married so young? What’s the rush?”, and my personal favorite, “You should have waited and enjoyed your life!”

Some of the folks asking these questions were strangers, but some were family. Was I crazy to get married at such a “young” age?

Well let me give you three reasons I decided to get married when I did.

1. I met a godly woman

As an eighteen year-old freshman in Bible college, I wasn’t actively looking for a wife, but God saw fit to introduce me to a young woman after his heart. She was beautiful, but more importantly she loved Jesus. She was aware that she was a sinner in need of God’s grace, and she had a humble, teachable heart. We ended up being part of the same church, so I got to watch her serve, grow, and faithfully give her time to others. I began to talk to my inner circle about her. My friends, mentors, and pastors all agreed – she is a beast! I could see myself walking with her and loving her for the rest of my life.

2. I was ready

By this time I began to think about the reality of marriage and what it means to commit yourself to someone for a lifetime. I asked myself whether or not I was mature and responsible enough. I searched through the Scriptures and thought about the responsibilities of a husband, and talked to married friends and mentors. After lots of prayer and conversation, my mentors and the pastors in my church told me they thought I was ready to pursue her. I was like, “Amen!” But I would not have pursued her if I thought I was not prepared to spiritually lead her, provide for her, and to be the head of a family.

3. Marriage is a blessing

At first I felt like I had to prove to the naysayers that getting married young is ok sometimes. But when I looked in the Scriptures I didn’t find stuff like, “Marriage equals death! Flee from it!” or, “Put marriage off until you can’t put it off any longer,” or, “Only get married when you’re too old to enjoy life,” or, “Play the field for a while and then pick the best one.”

Instead I found commands like, “Flee youthful lust”, and I read passages like Proverbs 18:22 that says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”

So when people say, “What possessed you to get married so young?” my new response is, “You’re asking the wrong question.” I think at the root of that question is the assumption that marriage steals something away from me, as if my youth is being wasted in committed sacrificial love when it could be used for casual pleasure and flakiness.

Marriage is a beautiful gift from God! It is a means of grace. I found a wife, and that is a good thing. I don’t agree with the logic that says, put off God’s richest blessings as long as you can. Instead I would say enjoy God’s good gifts and steward them for His glory.

Excerpt from Why did I Get Married So Young?   Trip Lee


8 responses to “Why did you get married so young?

  1. Tracy October 27, 2011 at 17:51

    you shoulda waited and enjoyed life, lol! As opposed to the suffering you are experiencing now? It’s a blessing to find someone who loves God, if I had that blessing at 18 I’d have got married.. 🙂
    God bless you and the mrs.

  2. Committed Christian October 27, 2011 at 17:59

    At first, my parents thought I was too young to be interested in marriage, I was 24 at the time! Lee made a good point by saying that those who believe such things imply that marriage steals something away from you. One must be ready to live sacrificially if they seek to be married, but the same is true if one desires to follow Christ faithfully.

  3. Kez November 2, 2011 at 12:17

    amen…………..thats so touching and indeed marriage comes from God ever since the garden of Eden….may God bless your marriage

  4. Stan McCullars November 4, 2011 at 17:50

    When I got married I was a month shy of 21 and my wife was three months shy of 19.

    A couple of days after becoming Christians we began talking about getting married. It was sort of a mutual proposal I guess you could say. We decided then to get married and started talking about the when of marriage. We were both in college. I was a junior; she was a freshman.

    Two weeks later, Sanctity of Life Sunday, our pastor preached on the sanctity of life and we were both convincted by the Holy Spirit, and simple reasoning, that abortion was murder and we would never do any such thing.

    The next week we learned we had conceived a child two days before our conversion. The question of when we would be getting married was answered. Family members suggested we kill our baby. That didn’t go over very well.

    We were married the Saturday of the following week.

    Our son turned 25 in October.

    We celebrated our Silver Anniversary in February!

    I don’t believe in short engagements to this day.

  5. Derrick Opio Ukumu November 19, 2011 at 15:27

    All the above points for marrying early are so right. I married at 27 yrs and i joke we my darling wife how i wish i had married her at fourteen, bse life with her is amazing. When she is not with me, i wonder how i ever lived without her. When you have met the right girl and you are both christians and you love each other immensely, there should not be any barriers to getting married.

    Thanks guys for the very encouraging words, especially at this time when the institution of marriage is being thrown to the dogs. Dogs love bones and not marraiges. Jokes!
    Derrick Opio Ukumu

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