A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

Reformed. Christianity. Evangelism. Modern Culture.

Laughing out loud when reading the Bible…

Funny list of Bible riddles (or rather misapplied hermeneutics)

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out A little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
A. Nebuchadnezzar. He was on grass for seven years.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A. Honda…because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: “We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement.”
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible?
A. It’s in Kings, where it says that David sat on the Throne for forty years.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

HT James Martin via FB.


2 responses to “Laughing out loud when reading the Bible…

  1. Paul Barnes November 15, 2012 at 20:17

    I believe that it is dishonouring to the Lord to make or enjoy jokes at the expense of the Biblical narrative. No matter how acceptable such jokes might be in an ordinary setting, this is the Word of God and we should not trivialize it in any way. God’s Word is to be treated with the deepest reverence, in the fear of the Lord. Such jokes are entirely out of place, in my view.

    • Acidri November 16, 2012 at 07:23

      You are right Paul the Word of God should not be taken lightly. The “riddles” above are examples of how modern English grammar and cultural contextual set up and idioms can misconstrue Biblical scriptural interpretation. The lesson here is that if one doesn’t apply appropriate hermeneutics they could end up in the same place.

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