A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

What would we do with out fashion? What would we do without celebrity and vanity? Why not bring it all to church?  The world we live in is visually driven and so is the culture. We are excited, enticed and ensnared by what we see. The billboards scream at us, the television adverts constantly beckon us to feed our base urge to desire and covet what we do not have. Yes, we love it don’t we?

If only we could get for ourselves a man and celebrity to feed this primitive urge of depravity. A man to point us to vanity. A man to scratch our itchy ears and teach us things that we yearn to listen to. A man to boost ourself esteem. We will be ready to pay him double and even triple if he can call himself our “man of God”. He could carry the title of “pastor” for all we care.

Some say the office of pastor is a sacred one. One with which comes an immense amount of responsibility. But in our endless search for self aggrandisement we want a hireling that we can call pastor who can desecrate this office. We are many so we will be able to set up a mega church if need be. We will build our man in a mansion and a private jet if he wants one. He could even publish some books and stuff that we deem relevant like seven day sex challenges.

All this is will be his only on one condition. He should not tell us about sin, righteousness and judgement. You see we don’t do bible. It’s for those nutters like Calvinists, Lutherans and other sinners. Our good book and life manual has been adapted and will soon be available for download on kindle, iPad and iPhone. You see it says:

Preach the Word fashion and vanity; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage give motivational pep talks – with great patience and careful instruction.For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine have swagger and mojo. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear [and not hear about spanx]. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths real fashion. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. Start a fashion website for pastors!  2 Timothy 4:2-5 New Edified Youngmen’s Seeker Sensitive Version NEYSSV

Oh I heard that Pastor Ed Young started a new website on fashion for pastors but I dismissed that news straight up. Surely our anointed and virtuous Pastor Ed has got more important things of eternal value to do like be prepared in season and out of season to preach the gospel and would not pander to such base and earthy materialism and vanity. Would he?

“Not that we’re fashion crazy, but…you are what you wear…I have worn today Spanx, that’s right, Spanx for men…they keep everything in…that’s a downside of Spanx it gives you gas….” ~ Ed Young