A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

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Category Archives: Christianity

More on the Fad-Driven® Church

By Phil Johnson Full Article Here.PyroManiac

n the book Tony Campolo co-authored with Brian McLaren (Adventures In Missing the Point: How the Culture-Controlled Church Neutered the Gospel) Campolo seems to suggest that seminarians ought to pay more attention to marketing techniques and less attention to theology, exegesis, original languages, and other traditional seminary curricula. After all, those are academic subjects with limited practical significance, and pastors these days hardly ever use such stuff after seminary. In Campolo’s own words:

What if the credits eaten up by subjects seminarians seldom if ever use after graduation were instead devoted to more subjects they will actually need in churches—like business and marketing courses? It is not true that with a gifted preacher, a church will inevitably grow. Good sermons may get visitors to stay once they come, but getting folks to come in the first place may take some marketing expertise. Read More

Kids! Accept Jesus Christ…and Get a Free PlayStation 3!

This brand new extended PlayStation 3 offer is for children and teenagers only! It may not be used in conjunction with any other Landover Baptist salvation offer. By Landover Baptist Church. Full Story Here

Playstation 3 Special OfferHey kids!  If your Mom and Dad can’t get you a PlayStation 3 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE! Have you ever heard of Jesus Christ? Well, He’s heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are too cheap to buy! In fact, the Lord Jesus is very upset with your parents that they won’t give you all the latest stuff that every kid in America deserves! And Jesus has got your back, because He is your homeboy!  If you’ve never heard of Jesus, He is an invisible cloud-dwelling deity (infinite lives!) who loves you very much and wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 3! But There’s More

Your Guide to Contemporary Christian Music

Ever wondered who worship is for? The Wittenburg Door has a good guide to understanding the mind numbing dynamics of contemporary Christian music. Plug your head phones in and grit your teeth…..

Christian music guide

Thank you for choosing to worship with us today. If you are from a church that uses traditional hymns, you may be confused. Please take a moment to read through this guide to contemporary Christian music.

In our church you will not hear “How Great Thou Art,” “Wonderful Grace of Jesus,” or “Like a River Glorious.” (Generally, hymns that have words like “Thou” are not used. They are too archaic and are normally replaced by words like “awesome” and “miry clay”). Yes, okay, we may do “Amazing Grace” or “Peace Like a River” at some point, but as a general rule we avoid songs with too many different verses or those that can’t be played easily on guitar and drums.

If you are new to worship here, you may wish to know the reasons for this. One is that deep theological concepts do not belong in contemporary Christian worship. We frown on songs that change more than one or two words for each verse. For example, our version of “Holy is the Lord” consists of repeating that phrase six times per verse and then changing “Holy” to “Worthy,” “Mighty,” “Jesus” and finally changing “the” to “my.” Isn’t that much simpler to sing and easier to remember? Read More

Shy As Charles H. Spurgeon.

1834 – 1892

Adapted From Interesting Facts About Spurgeon’s Ministry And Life.

One woman was converted through reading a single page of one of Spurgeon’s sermons wrapped around some butter she had bought.

Testing the acoustics in the vast Agricultural Hall, Spurgeon shouted, “Behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the world.” A worker high in the rafters of the building heard this and became converted to Christ as a result.

Spurgeon read The Pilgrim’s Progress at age 6 and went on to read it over 100 times. Read More

Crime Scene:Please Cross at Will

The Zodiac killer was a serial killer who operated in Northern California in the late 1960s. His identity still remains unknown to this day. The eccentric personality coined his name in a series of taunting letters he sent to the press. His letters included four cryptograms (or ciphers), three of which have yet to be solved. Through a series of cryptic letters he sent to the press and others, he disclosed the insanity which motivated the killings, offered clues to future murder plots and adopted the name Zodiac.

The Zodiac is known to have taken responsibility for murdering as many as 37 people, but police investigators confirmed that seven people were attacked by the Zodiac of which five died. Ironically he included information in his cryptograms and letters which proved he was present during the murders and a message that his identity was hidden inside the ciphers.

The expression “total depravity” describes the condition of man as he is now in sin, as a result of the “fall” in Adam. It does not mean that every man is as evil as he possibly could be. It does not mean that man like the Zodiac is incapable of things considered good and noble from a human viewpoint. No! Basically it means that sin has affected every aspect of a man’s being. Read More

Jonas Brothers Perform At Saddleback's Easter Service

Jonas By Museum of Idolatry.

[pullquote][Please note: This is an archived article from early 2010][/pullquote]The wildly popular yet wholesome Jonas Brothers will perform for Saddleback Church next month during the Southern California megachurch’s Easter service.

Saddleback senior pastor Rick Warren announced the pop rock boy band’s upcoming performance this week in a tweet two months before his church kicks off a flurry of activities.

This year, Saddleback’s Easter service will be unlike any of its previous ones, and not just because the Jonas Brothers will be there along with Christian music artist Kari Jobe. Read More

Anointed? Then How About Giving a Shot at Living Like It!

Paul I know.Jesus I know. But who are you?

By Melvin Jones Full Story
I have a question for you:
What’s the difference between the pimps and pimpettes who claim “a great anointing from God” and the rest of us?

Not much, apparently.These guys and gals claim great anointing (which of course they never define in terms other than they’re more spiritual than you unwashed sheeple), and claim to be living in the power of God, and claim to pretty much be plugged right into the holy power source. Then it happens. Read More

In The Twinkling of An Eye!

A small goofy hunch back office intern with heavy black-rimmed glasses scampers into a phone booth and closes the door. Then the moment of dramatic prose is shattered as a seven foot tall, square jawed gentleman, now a glistening man of steel with bulging and rippling muscles and sleek combed-back hair with deep piercing eyes kicks aside the rickety glass door. Tada! Transformed in the twinkling of an eye the super hero has come to save the damsel in distress. In comic literature the moment of transformation occurs at the height of the story as the battle between good and bad reaches its hiatus.

Looking at the news headlines today we read of diseases and epidemics, financial constraints and recessions, devastating earth quakes, Tsunamis and threats of global warming are the fodder of both red top tabloids and conservative dailies. God in his sovereignity has underlined the fact that tomorrow is promised to no man. We are constantly being reminded of the fickle nature of life and man’s mortality since the fall. A recurring question has always been , ‘why does God allow such suffering and why do bad things happen to good people?’ Read More

10 Signs of a Carnal Church

This is a fascinating take on the state of affairs in the church today as chronicled by CRAIGE LEWIS of EX Ministries.

Finding a worldliness free church these days can be disheartening. There are so many crooks and devils pastoring churches these days, it can be a chore finding a service that will meet your needs rather than tickle your fancy. The bible tells us that the Devil can transform himself into an angel of light and his ministers into ministers of unrighteousness. Why in the world would a person desire to be in a church that is full of unrighteousness and carnality? Why not just club, party, and hang out in the world where that stuff belongs? I don’t understand why people even involve the church of God in their wickedness. What is the point? If you are in sin, then why practice sin and claim him?

But we see the church morally declining because of the leaders that are put up by carnal people. It’s not just the Pastors fault, but it’s the people that heap upon themselves these teachers, desiring to live worldly and carnal while claiming the God of our salvation. Let’s explore the 10 signs of a carnal church so that those of you that are really searching for a worship house will not have to sit through multiple takes of foolishness to make a decision. You do not want to expose your family to the umbrella of foolishness that many of these churches are operating under. So, here are the 10 signs of a carnal church: Read More

Can I Skip My Lunch Break?

This page has been created for that bruised and battered soul who needs to listen to a quick short encouraging evangelical sermon jam during a 5 minute lunch break. Read More

What Would God Tweet…on Christmas?

Twitter is overall probably best known for its celebrity users and you’ve-seen-me-on-MTVs who discuss and indulge other lesser mortals with gold dust bits of their lives down to the most trivial detail.

It’s a crisp wintry December morning, a few more days and it will be Christmas. Seven days to Christmas to be exact. As the snow falls and blankets the beautiful country side landscapes in Britain, The Daily Mail runs a heart rending story of a said to be distraught mother from Merritt Island, Florida who posted serial messages on Twitter as emergency medical teams tried to resuscitate her dying son. The 30 year old started by sending ‘tweets’ just minutes after her two-year-old was found floating face down in the family’s swimming pool. But There’s More

Sloshfest.Megafest…What next? God-Wiser!

“The harvest is past, the summer is ended,
and we are not saved.” Jer 8:20 ESV

A recent ministry update reported on a yet new move of the “Holy Ghost”. Indeed this was a newer move by all ranks as it was reported. The revival meeting started with the man of God exhorting believers as to how God in these last days wants to fill them with the new wine of the Holy Ghost. Before long it was Happy Hour and it was claimed the congregation was doused in “Godka,” “God-wiser” and puffing the glory cloud, “Jehovah-wanna.” He mentioned how the drug culture is simply a counterfeit and unholy substitute for real supernatural experience with the Lord. Read More