A Twisted Crown of Thorns ®

Reformed. Christianity. Evangelism. Modern Culture.

Category Archives: Satire

George Muller wouldn’t fit in today’s church

Today’s church screams, “Jesus is not enough”. We have church services where the preacher gives motivational pep talks, have exhilarating laser light shows to excite unbelievers into a form of church experience. We have relegated good and sound Bible exposition out of the pulpit. Oh, (and not to forget) you gotta love the recent Code orange Revival launched by one pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation church. To begin the “revival” he led the congregation in a hymn a rendition of secular super star and celebrity Rihanna’s hit song. No kidding! This is of course a far cry from the preachers and Christians of yester year who really loved the Lord, sang about Him. They reverently honored Him even in their worship. He was the centre piece to which their whole livelihood focused. Who is the focus of our adoration today?

“At last I saw Christ as my Saviour. I believed in Him and gave myself to Him. The burden rolled from off me, and a great love for Christ filled my soul. That was more than fifty years ago. I loved Jesus Christ then, but I loved Him more the year after, and more the year after that, and more every year since” – George Muller (1805 – 1898) …Read More!

Our newest purpose driven choir member!

I have been thinking lately and have finally come up with the most purpose driven idea of how to fill up the church. Get an entertaining and exciting choir member that will keep people coming and sure enough. Here is …..Stuart! Tada!

Now we can have less Bible study time and longer time to get your praise on!  Have you ever been asked that all illusive question, “Did you enjoy the praise and worship today at our church?” …Read More!

How to misquote the Bible like a Guru (without blinking)!

I am currently reading a very interesting book, Scripture Twisting: 20 Ways the Cults Misread the Bible by James W. Sire. Its actually not a guide to help you become a guru or Swami. Far from it. You see, “Jesus” is co-opted by almost every one who wants some one from the past to confirm their own vision of the ideal future. To Eastern –oriented religious groups, Jesus is an avatar – one of the may incarnations of the gods; to Christian Scientists, he is the great healer; to political revolutionaries he is the great liberator; to Spiritualists, he is a first rate medium; to one new consciousness philosopher, he is a prototype of a sorcerer who can restructure events in the world by mental exercise. It seems there is a “Jesus” for everyone.

One way in which almost any cult can have a claim to the Jesus of the bible is by misquoting scripture. For example:

Jess Stern in a book on Edgar Cayce quotes the following conversation he had with Eula Allen, one of Cayce’s followers. The topic was re-incarnation and Stearn suddenly thought of a problem:

A thought struck me. “Why, if people have lived other lives, don’t they remember anything from them?”

“But they do,” she said. “It’s just some times that they don’t remember that they are remembering. Jesus said, ‘I will bring all things to thine remembrance,’ but he didn’t say how.”

A number of errors are made here. First, this is not what Jesus said. Let us put the clause quoted into its immediate context. …Read More!

What next after Sloshfest? Don’t we need another fad to lead us out of Christianity?

A recent ministry update reported on a yet new move of the “Holy Ghost”. Indeed this was a newer move by all ranks as it was reported. The revival meeting started with the man of God exhorting believers as to how God in these last days wants to fill them with the new wine of the Holy Ghost. Before long it was Happy Hour and it was claimed the congregation was doused in “Godka,” “God-wiser” and puffing the glory cloud, “Jehovah-wanna.” He mentioned how the drug culture is simply a counterfeit and unholy substitute for real supernatural experience with the Lord.

How far Evangelicalism has fallen to begin to revel in fancy mystic manifestations and unbridled excesses of self gratification! …Read More!

BLOG NAMES: Why “A Twisted Crown of Thorns”?

About two years ago I started a blog. I wrote mostly about issues that revolved around modern day Christianity. It scratched the itch in evangelicalism. It tackled theology and had a satirical twang to it at times. Okay most of the times. It took about a year to come up with a name for the blog.

Do you know how difficult it is to get a name for a blog? Hmm. I thought of cool names like “Elevation blog” or “Your best life now blog” or “Elephant in the blog” but I just thought I wouldn’t be able to live up to the hype. Or would I?

I will never be able to explain why I decided to call the blog Twisted Crown of Thorns and later A Twisted Crown of Thorns (as of 2012). I probably liked the irony in the name. In retrospect it almost sounds like a spoof rock and roll group band. It sounds dark … but light hearted. I have known of a few misguided wanderers who have adventurously stumbled onto the blog thinking it’s a Roman Catholic sacred relics collection website. Grrrr! …Read More!

The World’s Best Church®

The first lesson in successful marketing and entrepreneurship always underscores the fact that the customer is king. I have always told my self if I were to start a church it would be the world’s best church. It would be the  epitome of  tolerance and relevance. Who says the church cant  be geared towards increased attendances, happier people with numerous self sustaining projects and great reputation among the un-churched and still bring people closer to God? Then Read More

I Love Celebrity Pastors Like Ed Young!

Enough of all this banter against modern Christendom’s latest prodigal and most loved opulent brat. Ed Young Jr. is officially the most google-d and U-tubed Christian celebrity pastor. Gone are the boring days of being an obscure youth pastor left to follow up new converts and pray for toddlers who don’t finish their breakfast cereal in the church back garden. Gone are the days of watching re-runs of Veggie Tales and Tom and Jerry in Sunday school.

The other day he took a bold step in being the honest and transparent man of God that he has become and indulged viewers in a personal tour of his parsonage or is it vicarage. And look how many bloggers treated him as though he had invited Bin Laden to the White House. He had simply allowed a TV Crew to have a glimpse of his humble 10,000 square foot, $1.5 million estate. Read More

Africa’s Best Church

If the latest Church growth updates are anything to go by then Africa is surely having surplus of growth. The growth has been described by many colourful words like “explosive”, “spectacular” and of recent “fast food-ish”. There seems to be an easy believism called prosperity gospel that is spawning a multiplex of believers. In this form of Christianity, a believer is supposed to be successful; if not, something is very wrong. This emphasis can be seen in the names of the flourishing churches: Winners Chapel, Victory Bible Church, Jesus Breakthrough Assembly, Triumphant Christian Centre. The titles and themes of conventions, crusades and conferences repeat this emphasis: “Gathering of Champions” “Living a Life of Abundance,” “Taking Your Territories,” “Stepping into Greatness.” For all these churches, size and expansion are tangible signs of success—which is why the terms Global, World or International appear in so many of their titles.

South Africa recently hosted the World cup. From this land that gave football fans the much loved and equally hated “vuvuzela” has emerged Rhema Church. Rhema has established itself as one of Africa’s Best Churches. A place where the big shots, celebrities and politicians come to embrace at the table of a “rock and roll” religion. Even the President, Jacob Zuma comes regularly to Rhema to tuck into two of South Africa’s said pastimes, conspicuous consumption and Christianity. But There’s More

Woman upset by theater mix-up

By LarkNews.com

LANCASTER, Pa. — Maria Holsapple thought she was attending performances at the local community theater, but after twelve weeks, she was angered to learn she had been attending Oak Grove Center, a 3,000-member church.
“I would never willingly go into an evangelical church,” says Holsapple, a practicing Catholic.
She came after Oak Grove mailed her “tickets” to upcoming “drama presentations.” She enjoyed the “mini-concert, the play and the motivational speech they threw in at the end,” she says.
“It worked well as performance art,” she says. “I was convinced it was a groundbreaking new theater company.” Read More

Christian Night Club Gone Awry….and Real Bad.

I have always thought if one rule of thumb is if you mix ministry ( or Jesus) with anything else (like course entertainment) you are in for a BIG shock sooner or later. Preach Christ and Him crucified you will see people being drawn to Him by the Holy Spirit. Add a little smoke and mirrors to leaven up your “ministry” and … you become mosaic. To keep them coming you will need wilder smoke and more exciting mirrors. Ugh!

You see, there is a church called Mosaic Church. No kidding. Club Fathom is listed on Mosaic’s website as a teen-centered outreach ministry of the church. That’s not all. There has been activity going on in this club. No not a revival as such but…

A Christmas morning shooting that injured nine people is further evidence that the downtown club where the brawl began is a public nuisance that should be dealt with quickly, city officials said Monday.

Club Fathom has a long history of teen violence dating back to at least 2006 and has faced city ire in the past. …Read More!

We had an audition for a new youth pastor and guess who won?

In our never ending bid to remain relevant we really had to get the right youth pastor. The qualities we were looking for were actually very simple. Young, restless and creative. Yup, we got our anointed man (though he has to work on his pony tail). 😉

Next we need an assistant youth pastor. …Read More!

The 12 days of a Calvinist’s Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve commentaries,
Eleven Christian magnets,
Ten CD’s playing,
Nine Kinkade paintings,
Eight maps of Joppa,
Seven books by Calvin,
Six Spurgeon sermons …Read More!

The church club house that brought revival.

For your weekly dose of satire

…Read More!

Churchgoers To Face Sermon Repeats!

By Team Tominthebox News Network. Full Link here.

New York, New York – Pastors across the country suddenly found themselves in a bit of a predicament this past weekend as Sunday morning quickly approached. The trouble began Saturday afternoon when word began spreading that the Sermon Writers Guild was going on strike on the grounds that they were not being paid enough for their work.

The Sermon Writers Guild has, for the most part, been a secret to the church-going public. Founded in 1977, the organization started out as a small group of theologians and laypersons who were “gifted and creative in the art of preaching” but lacked the charisma necessary to pastor and lead a congregation. When the group was formed they began offering sermon writing services for “witty pastors who lacked scholarly abilities” and who were “less than studious” for a fee of only $20 per sermon. Over the years the guild expanded to over 1500 “ghost preachers” who have written sermons for some of the most famous pastors in the country. Read More

Dear Santa….

I would like to ask you a very personal question….

Duh! …Read More!

The curious case of the disappearing cross at the US Afghan military chapel.

US Military and Navy SEALs  are known for their subtle clinical finesse and thoroughness. But of late something has defeated their predatory prowess. Could it be that the enemy has outwitted them in their own front yard? Or could there be a rogue force within the camp pulling strings of infamy behind the curtains? You see…
A large cross that had been prominently displayed outside a chapel on an isolated military base in northern Afghanistan was taken down last week, prompting outrage from some American service members stationed there.
“We are here away from our families, and the chapel is the one place that feels like home,” a service member at Camp Marmal told POLITICO. “With the cross on the outside, it is a constant reminder for all of us that Jesus is here for us.”
“Not having it there is really upsetting,” added another. “I walk by the chapel daily on the way to chow and the gym, and seeing the cross is a daily reminder of my faith and what Jesus accomplished for me. It is daily inspiration and motivation for me to acknowledge my faith and stay on the right path.” …Read More!

Christian in Georgia factory fired for refusing (666) mark of the beast

Imagine this for a second. I have been a devout Christian for the whole of my life. I am now withered and have no strength in me.  Slumped in my death bed in a rural hospital (somewhere in Boinga Boinga island), the nurse and the wretched doctors stamp the mark of the beast (or better still a Tim Lahaye styled bar code on my forehead). Does that single act of notoriety undo my salvation? Does the creature that the Holy Spirit “regenerated” all of a sudden backslide and become “unregenerate”? Does “the elect” become “reprobate”? Does “the disciple” become “apostate”?  Does my name (in Heaven) suddenly get rubbed out of the Book of life with giant pencil as heaven mourns my inadvertent loss? Well, recently
A Georgia factory worker claims in a federal lawsuit that he was fired after he refused to wear a `666′ sticker he feared would doom him to eternal damnation.
Billy E. Hyatt claims he was fired from Pliant Corp., a plastics factory in northern Georgia near Dalton, after he refused to wear a sticker proclaiming that his factory had been accident-free for 666 days. That number is considered the “mark of the beast” in the Bible’s Book of Revelation describing the apocalypse.
Hyatt, who said he’s a devout Christian, had worked for the north Georgia plastics company since June 2007 and like other employees wore stickers each day that proclaimed how long the factory had gone without an accident. …Read More!

Sister Martha Discovers Bible Chapter on Christian Liberty

I still remember the day sister Martha came for Sunday service in style. She had just started reading her bible that month and there was a twinkle in her eyes.

She said she had also been meditating on Paul’s advice to Timothy:

No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments. 1 Tim 5:23

I must add Martha was a literalist. She also has several ailments. …Read More!

The day Pastor Stevie became radical…

Stevie stopped praying for revival. Instead he decided he will make them happen. It all started on the day he was ordained. Oh what a happy day that was:

He became ….radical! …Read More!

Osteen Introduces Oprah to Jesus…Okay, Almost!

It’s never a dull Sunday when Osteen is in the pulpit. Infact every day feels like a Friday. If you come early and stretch your neck long enough you could catch a glimpse of (guess who?)… Yup. Oprah. If you have your bible autograph book handy you could actually get it autographed by Oprah or even Tyler Perry!   Oh can you see me in the video? (Hyperventilating) I am the one next to that guy high up in the rafters. (Grr some one stood infront of me when the camera panned over Oprah’s shoulder) Hey never mind atleast Joel introduced Oprah to Jesus. Okay, almost.  🙂

If only my kids cried like that for their bibles…

On a lighter note: How I wish my kids (and the kids in my neighbourhood) really cried like this for theology and for the things of God! Grrrr!

…Read More!

Sorry to burst your bubble. Thats not Jesus on your cheese, receipt, door or Nintendo!

Every week somebody runs to the news papers with a chunk of bacon, half eaten pizza and wet patch on a nappy claiming to see the face of Jesus. Yes, they say it is the very face of the Lord Jesus Christ. It almost seems to be a sure way of getting attention these days. If I were to line up and sell all the things in my house (let alone the kitchen) that appeared like a hungry man with stringy iron filings for a beard I would be a rich man in two days!

Lupita la Bourdette said one such image appeared to her on the screen door leading into her home. Well…

“This is something that people have to see to believe,” la Bourdette, a Catholic, told KRGV reporters. “When I saw it, I wanted to cry. It impressed me so much.”

The resident of Pharr, Texas, said the image of Jesus and his mother Mary, whom she says appears to be holding a baby, showed up on the metal screen six years ago, shortly after she had a dream in which a little girl told her to pray for the world because “a lot of bad things are going to happen.” …Read More!

Paul Paraphrased For The “Me-Centered” Church

Finally a bible version that I actually like (not in the Facebook kind of way). No, I like it with my tongue in cheek. (Add a wink here)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever things are generally acceptable, whatever is tactful, whatever things show sensitivity, whatever things make you feel good, whatever things are sensuous, whatever things are personally satisfying; if there is to be any ownership, and if there is any good self-esteem, think happy thoughts on these things.

Do the things that you have felt, and realized and experienced and justified within yourself: and the god of touchy-feely happycrap shall warm your tolerant, sensitive, enlightened soul with wonderful ignorant bliss. …Read More!

Socialism: It is as simple as this…

HT Stan McCullars via Facebook.

The Marked up, Highlighted and Circled Bible.

Some people believe there should be a state of ceremonial purity when touching a holy book. A man or woman must take a ritual shower or bath to attain a heightened level of righteousness before he even glimpses into the written mind of God as it were. Christians on the other hand come in two categories. Those who love their bibles and those who really love their bibles. Today I will dwell on the eccentric latter.

“A bible that’s falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.” -Charles Spurgeon

They are called Bible markers! Are you one of them? …Read More!

One good reason why hearing the Shepherd’s voice is hard.

HT Jim McMaster via Facebook

“Tebowing” -The new planking for God?

Fads and superstition in sports have always drawn the usual cursory glance. Not any more it seems. There seems to be a growing viral trend intermarrying the two and tugging God at the end of it all. It all started with mundane actions like athletes making or kissing imaginary crosses before the 100 metre dash to heaven-ward finger pointing gestures and gesticulations after scoring goals in football. The other day spectators were taken aback when one soccer player decided to rend the heavens loose by lay hands and praying for his misfiring colleague who hadn’t scored for the team in several months following a big money transfer from a rival team. Well the striker got rewarded with two goals in the game. So, do these fads and trends have some theological magic formula of sorts? Do they pull God closer to one team against the other? Well to add fuel to fire, another one has started (and it’s EPIC!!)

It was only a matter of time before the sports world had its planking equivalent: Tebowing. Tebowing, according to the new Tumblr blog Tebowing.com, is “to get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.” Its namesake is Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, who inadvertently invented Tebowing. In the last week alone, people have been photographed Tebowing in the U.S. CapitolKorea and an operating room; near a beer-pong table, the Chrysler Building and a toilet; and mimicking the “Abbey Road” cover. Toddlers have Tebowed. Adrian Beltre accidentally Tebowed. The act of Tebowing has even been carved into a pumpkin. …Read More!

And that is what I call a literal translation of baptism.

Yup, here you have got a good illustration of (a credo-peedo) immersion from above.

[HT Susan Hamm via Facebook]

If only I could defeat Calvinism.

Here is a humorous video (with awesome royal marching music in the background) illustrating a number classic errors that are frequently used by opponents of Calvinism.

HT Turretin Fan

We got a new youth pastor! He ticks all the boxes! Check him out! (Satire)

Who would believe it? Just exegete this slo-mo walk as he practices to walk on stage to the pulpit on sunday. 😉

HT J. Taylor via Facebook

Wrong ways of getting purpose driven ideas for Sunday’s sermon.

 

Hmmm?

How to become a Christian Hipster (Satire).

An instructional video at last:

PS: No animals were harmed in the making of this product. (One’s gotta add a disclaimer on every video so as to appear relevant and green) 🙂

And the church bowed to pressure from Facebook that year…

What do you know?

Finally a road sign that everybody can understand. Even when drunk…

I came across this sobering picture recently…

It reminded me of that other church where the pastor calls him self the “holy ghost bar tender” I wonder whether he has one of these sign posts at the church exit gate?

[HT Facebook friends]

For Once I Agree with the Emergents. Don’t You?

Finally I agree…and I see their view point. Don’t you?
[HT Chad Hunt via Facebook]

The “slightly dead” in trespasses Arminian brother.

After a thorough examination by Arminian church officials, Bob was found to be only “slightly dead” in trespasses and sins.
[HT Reformed Gene via Facebook]

Yo, Worship the King?

On a lighter note: In fear of losing his job to a contemporary praise band, church organist Ernest Cleghorn wowed the congregation with his hip hop rendition of “Yo, Worship the King”.

I sure would love to hear him do the Hip hop version of  “A Mighty Fortress is Our God”. Wouldn’t ya? 😉

[HT Reformed Gene via Facebook]

I Claim it! I Claim it! And I Claim an iPhone 4S!

Okay if God really loves me He is just going to…no He must give me what I want! And I want THAT iPhone 4S! It’s voice controlled, I can talk to it and ask it tomorrow’s weather.  You talk to it and it does all you want it to do. It has an eight-megapixel camera. Surely if God loves me (like he loves David Cameron and Obama who also have iPhones) he will let me throw my teeny weeny good for nothing old phone that I have to press to my wonky ears even when I am walking to church -and get me this i-Phone 4S. Only that…

Life would be so much simpler if they invented an app to save you queuing for a new iPhone. But yesterday the only way the world’s techno-hungry masses could guarantee being among the first to own the latest toy from Apple was to stand in line.

And so, in extraordinary scenes that bordered on iMania, hundreds of thousands of gadget-worshippers laid siege to Apple stores across the country and around the globe to get their hands on the iPhone 4S. Many camped out and queued for more than 24 hours. One emerged joyfully from the store in Covent Garden after doorstepping it for ten days and nights. At the nearby flagship Regent Street branch, more than 1,000 snaked around crush barriers and police were called to marshal the crowd. Read more of this post

NY Times: Mega Churches Adding Pet Ministries and Pet Bible study.

The next time you go to a mega church, you will not be seated alone.  Well to be more inclusive and increase numbers of attendants more novel methods are being employed. You see, you can now tag along your neighbour’s chihuahua and hamster to church if you want to. I kid you not.

In a society obsessed with pet dogs, cats, rodents, fish and reptiles, it only follows that churches should open their doors to Fido.

“As a boy in San Antonio, Paul Flotron helped his family raise miniature schnauzers,” writes Mark Oppenheimer in the New York Times. By age 10, he had accumulated a menagerie of “dwarf crocodiles, African pancake tortoises, birds, boa constrictors, hermit crabs, fish, and always dogs.

“Today, Flotron runs Creature Comforts Great and Small, a St. Louis pet-care business, and leads Noah’s Ark, a pet ministry of Grace Church, a large nondenominational Protestant church. Noah’s Ark runs a pet-food drive, supports a no-kill rescue, brings pets to visit the sick and infirm, and hosts a grief group for those who have lost a pet,” reports Oppenheimer:

“We actually have Bible study and discuss passages that are animal related,” Mr. Flotron said. “We make that our foundation.” …Read more!

Job Opening: Pastor with a great sense of Humor

In the age we live in, nobody is going to care about how much ‘bible’ the speaker knows. They are going to relate to how funny his stories are we say. That’s why a good sense of humor is kind of like the new ‘doctrine’. It’s kindda what your church falls or stands on, right?

[HT Old Truth]

Asking an Emergent to back you up is like…

 

Worst Excuse for Attending a Mega Church…

Uh, every body goes there!

6 Guaranteed Methods for Starting a “Mega -Church” or Get Your Money Back!

Well, well, well. I would have loved to have come up with these patented methods but some body beat me to them. But I was close though. 😉 So, do you….

Image is everything...Try 3-D!

Want to be in a Mega-Church? Want to start one? Want to know how to function like a Mega-Church? Here are 666 ways. (Ooops my 6 key stuck, sorry, I meant: 6 ways.)

1. Insist on a lack of specificity. Can we be honest here? The more specific you are with doctrine, the more detailed your statement of faith – the more likely you will make some uncomfortable or confused. Solution? Be very VERY general. For instance, under “Beliefs” use a small list. Maybe four items. (1) We believe in God (2) We love Jesus (3) People are important (4) We have no expectations. Now I ask you, how can you lose with that? That would barely offend an ACLU lawyer.

2. Sing a LOT of songs and have talented, professional quality musicians and singers. Sing a LOT of songs. Don’t sing the old dirge hymns, sing things that are peppy and fast. Sing a LOT of songs. Don’t emphasize doctrinal content like the old hymns, make the songs subjective. …Read More!

How Not to Prepare a Sermon. Ever!

Sadly, I fear this is how some preachers prepare sermons.

[HT Rick Ianniello]

Dear God, can I get that Lamborghini…for our church?

If you are given to health, wealth and prosperity gospel making dubious prayers then I have one more request for you. Name and claim this now! Don’t look at the picture of the world’s first super bus. It’s been made to grace the speed of a Lamborghini but embrace the soft and finer comforts of a luxury jet. It could make a good means of transport to go on state banquets missions and show off to other celebrities “to preach the gospel” if you are a millionaire televangelist. For other earthlings and lesser mortals, who want to know more …

You might be waiting a while for one of these to pull up at the local bus stop. This is the world’s first super bus, crafted with state-of-the-art materials which seats 23 passengers and had a top speed of 155mph (250km/h).

Developed in Holland by an astronaut and a former Formula One aerodynamics expert, the midnight-blue, electric-powered vehicle costs £7 million and was flown to the United Arab Emirates where it will be used by a sheikh.

The high-tech bus means he will be able to complete the 75-mile commute from Dubai to neighbouring Abu Dhabi in under 30 minutes.

Made of lightweight materials including aluminium, carbon fibre, fibreglass and polycarbonate, it is 49ft long (15 metres), 8ft wide (2.5 metres) and 5ft 5in high (1.65 metres). …Read More!

Seattle church launches church service for pets!

Now you are going to think I’ve gone nuts. I promise I did not make this up. I am not even from Seattle. Well, pets in Seattle seem to be hearing the gospel more than you think…

The cats no doubt had their own weekend stuff to do, like extended napping. The fish probably didn’t relish a car ride. But the dogs, ever sociable, showed up with enthusiasm at Immanuel Lutheran Church in South Lake Union Saturday morning.

“Welcome, whether you have two legs or four legs,” began Pastor Susan Burchfield, her clerical collar just visible above a purple tunic, as she introduced a short service called the Blessing of the Animals. …Read More!

Best (Descriptive) Witness Clip Ever!

There are conversations in the Bible that are so entertaining. The first that comes to mind is the conversation that takes place on the road to Emmaus.

As they (two disciples) talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him.  He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?” Luke 24:15-17

I can imagine how this guy would have described the death, burial and resurrection of Christ if he was on that road to Emmaus too. Watch this:

He would make a good witness, huh? 😉

Elephant on My Blog!

I have a riddle. This section of discussion is found some where in the blogosphere. With no clues (what so ever) as to who is being discussed I would like you to read with an open mind. Then I will ask you a question at the end. He is…

a self-styled “bishop”—notorious for his love of money, who teaches a false prosperity gospel, who freely shills for every aberration on TBN, who was ordained in a Sabellian denomination, who has been confronted repeatedly about his anti-trinitarianism, who refuses to renounce modalism, who declines to embrace any standard expression of Trinitarian conviction, and who (on top of all that) is unclear on practically every doctrine germane to the gospel …Read More!

Spontaneous Baptisms: Why I like Steven Furtick!

Every generation has its wild eyed enthusiast who grabs hold of the coat tails of a principle and swings the tides of history. Wow! Can I ever stop blushing after hearing what Steven Furtick has ushered into evangelicalism? Yup, even Charles Finney would not have come up with such an ingenius idea. The best Finney did was to leave us with introduction of altar calls. (Okay yes, plus crumbs in decisional regeneration in his classic sermon “Sinners bound to change their own hearts”). But this goes even further. Spontaneous baptisms! My jaw dropped down to my ankles in amazement when I read that

At Elevation Church in the summer of 2011, we saw one of the most audacious acts in the history of this church.

We believe in baptism at Elevation Church, and we believe every person who has made a decision to follow Christ should be baptized. And to give as many people the opportunity to get baptized, we decided to spontaneously baptize people. We provided an opportunity to get baptized… on the spot.

We baptized 2,158 people over 2 weekends. It was unbelievable. It was audacious.

If you’d like to find out more of what we did to make the baptisms a success, we’ve made everything available to you to download for free right here.[Editor: Link removed by a hater! Possibly a Calvinist!] …Read More!

Preachers Kids: My Dad’s Church is Bigger Than Your Dad’s!

I came across this picture and it just reminded me of two preacher’s kids. No, not just ordinary preacher’s kids – mega church preacher’s kids. Yup, that elite successful echelon of accomplished MOGs (Men of God). What are their squabbles like?

I know what you are thinking. Exactly!